SYMPATHY FLOWERS

Do you have a funeral to attend and have no idea what floral arrangement is appropriate to send? Unsure whether to send flowers or take them to the funeral? Where are you suppose to send them anyway?

​It wasn't until I had to send some flowers on behalf of my family to bereaved friends that I realised these questions and more needed answering first. Here's some tips from what I learnt.

​1 Should you send flowers?

• ​Besides sending a condolence card, sending flowers to bereaved relatives is a special reminder to them that you care.
• Receiving a bouquet will let them know that you are thinking about them and offers comfort that they are not alone with their loss.

2 Does it matter what type of arrangement you send?

• ​Traditionally there are certain types of arrangements that are used to decorate the casket of the deceased and the funeral chapel.
• These tend to be more formal and larger arrangements.
• ​A bouquet of flowers, a small basket arrangement or even a potted plant is considered more appropriate for sending or giving to the bereaved family.

3 What type of arrangements are there?
​Now this is where it becomes complex as some arrangements seem to have different names. I hope to simplify this for you. Some you're probably already familiar with, but others might be new to you (as it was for me).
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General Flowers:
WREATHS

• Circular arrangements of flowers. This is the most popular tribute that is appropriate for anyone to send for the funeral

HEARTS

• ​Heart arrangements are appropriate for close friends and relatives to send for the funeral as a tribute to the deceased.        

​POSIES

• ​A round dome arrangement where flowers can be seen at all angles. These are appropriate to send to the home of the bereaved relatives or for the funeral, from anyone wanting to express their sympathy.

SHEATH

• ​Think of a normal cellophane wrapped arrangement with the cellophane removed and the stems are instead tied with ribbon.
• They often have the stems of flowers arranged on the top of a base of leatherleaf fern and other foliage.
• This type of arrangement can be sent by anyone for a floral tribute at the funeral.

SPRAYS

• ​Single ended, low arrangement and is appropriate to send to a bereaved friend as a funeral tribute.

​BASKETS

• ​A low or tall arrangement of flowers in a basket, is a common floral gift that can be sent to the home of the bereaved family.
• Also appropriate for the funeral service, especially at a crematorium, where family will often view them after the service and read the attached messages of condolence.

Family Tributes:
​CASKET SPRAYS

• ​These are larger low arrangements that vary in size and shape.
  
• These sprays can be single ended or double (diamond shaped) arrangements.
  
• They can cover half the casket, be full length or completely cover the casket, almost like a blanket of flowers.
  
• Casket sprays are sent by immediate family or whoever is arranging the funeral.

CROSSES

• These are a popular tribute arrangement particularly if the deceased was a Christian. Normally sent by family members.

LETTERS

• ​Floral letters spelling the relationship of the deceased or their names is a popular tribute funeral arrangement eg DA-D, S-O-N.

SERVICE ARRANGEMENTS

• ​Large arrangements of flowers displayed on a plinth or tripod stand is usually placed near the coffin during the funeral service.

​SPECIAL TRIBUTES

• ​It's increasingly popular to see families having a special floral arrangement made in shapes and colours associated with the deceased eg football shirts, country flag, cricket bat, teddy bear, baking bowl.
• Some are used to express the message of "rest in peace" eg pillows and cushions.

4 Where do you send the floral tribute?
​HOME OF THE BEREAVED

• ​Flowers that you want to express condolence and that you're thinking of the bereaved person should be sent to their home.
• These arrangements add some colour and cheer to the sadness now enveloping their home.
  
• These can be a bouquet that can be displayed in a vase, a plant or a basket of flowers.

FUNERAL PALOUR/UNDERTAKER

• ​Flowers that you want to be displayed at the funeral service should be sent directly to the office of the undertaker.
• They will use your tribute arrangement to decorate the hearse and later the final resting place of the buried deceased.
• If the deceased is cremated the flowers are displayed outside the chapel for viewing and then distributed as the bereaved family wishes. Often family opt to sent these flowers as a "thank you" gift to hospital/hospice staff or nursing home. 

​5 When do you send the floral tribute?
​Condolence flowers can be sent at anytime to the home of the bereaved family even after the funeral of the deceased, to let them know you're still thinking about them.

​Tribute flowers which are being sent for the deceased should be ordered 48 hours before the funeral, at the latest.

• Often one florist is employed by the family to create all the funeral flowers.
• Friends and family can then discuss with the florist what is appropriate, are there any preferred flowers or colours, and choose a type of arrangement so that there is a nice mix of floral tributes.
• ​If the funeral includes burial, you can choose to bring a bouquet of flowers or even a single rose.
• Some flowers are buried with the coffin and the remainder used to decorate the grave.

​A Final Note

• ​Sending flowers after the death of a friend or family member is an expression of love for the deceased and support for the bereaved family member(s).
• It doesn't matter whether the flowers are fresh or faux. The decision is more associated with tradition and/or personal preference.
• Some cultures view fresh flowers as most appropriate, whilst others tend to choose large silk arrangements displayed at the funeral service.
• ​It is worth taking the time to find out the family's preference and any cultural tradition, in order not to cause offense at such a sensitive time. 

​I do hope you found this helpful. Please leave a comment below.
Marlene.

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